There was a moment of fullness in my heart, its weight upon me wrestled with my strength to carry it. I paused and closed my translucent thoughts and projected my fears and let them go with the breath of silence. I had to keep doing this. Pausing and closing off the hurt. I had to close my wet eyes and listen. I listened to nothing and everything all at the same time. My body resting and yet ready for anything. Finally, I gathered myself, sat up, and opened my eyes. All around me was the same yet something became very different. Me.
I come back to this day ever so often as not to forget that something whispered from deep within that high pitched squeaking swing, finely tuned with every consumed thought I had at the time. She was gone. Really she was. I had to keep telling myself this. I no longer was a good friend.
I might have been there that day for hours, for I do not know. I can only remember holding the handle of my car door for seven minutes to long and pausing for pushing it outward was unimaginable. Perhaps, a magnificent ray of light stretched out through the large maple tree and caught my attention as I made a path on foot on the gray stoned drive toward the unity of trees and tall swings. I could smell old charcoal burnt and fires left to burn.
I could not just climb onto the seat of that swing for I had not just seen it as swing. I saw my summers and heard my laughter. Anyone who seen me as toe head with blue eyes knew that just before sunset the wind would chase me down.